How does Indian society treat you if you are an unmarried male over 30 years of age?
A whole gamut of reactions depending on where you find yourself in India.
It also depends on how much over 30 one is!
Perhaps if you're still in your thirties, more people will try to convince you that getting married is a good idea. Some will even offer help in finding you a bride.
If you are in your forties, there will be some questions, but not many people offering help or advice. It's too late perhaps!?
In general, I think if you're a single woman it's perhaps harder, for you might get hit upon, proposed to, a whole lot more.
Single women treat single men very well if there is no threat of the above.
If you look like you're lonely and suffering, you will get rueful sympathy.
If you look like you're having a great time being single, you will probably attract some suspicion and healthy jealousy in some cases.
If you're in the company of any woman more of less in your age group, you're more likely to be assumed to be married to her. This is particularly annoying.
If you try to rent a place, many refuse, but it gets easier.
You will get invited to a whole lot of fun, and adventure, especially if kids like being around you.
You might make a few husbands jealous, especially, god forbid, you're attractive to women, and if their wives like you!
People in modern, urban India are more likely to hardly even pay attention to the fact, but in rural or conservative parts of India, some may even feel sorry for you.
You will get gyan (wisdom) that it is all fun now, but who will take care of you in your old age?
Just about anything you do as a free spirited human being will be attributed to the fact that you're not married and are able to avoid responsibility.
Your nephews and nieces will love you, for the sheer fact that you're a whole lot more available to them, if you are indeed, than other uncles and aunts. They will even confide in you and give you the kind of control over them that their parents would kill for!
Forget over 30, even being an unmarried male who is into professional life is a crime at some places. Here are few examples I have personally experienced:
- Going to a colony in Bangalore. The guard stops me and asks me what I am doing there. Told him I am interested in purchasing a house and want to meet agents in the office. Once he knew I was a bachelor, he just rudely asked me to go away. And I thought my culture always treated ‘customer as god’.
- People not giving rented flats to the bachelors (even though bachelors are the ones who pay the higher rent compared to families in an area), just because all the bachelors keep the house dirty and shabby, and bringing a girl to house even when she is your relative will raise eyebrows.
- Looking at the ads ‘pets allowed, bachelors not allowed’. Guess, we are worse than the dogs.
- This does not happen often but interestingly, I met a girl who told me she makes friends with only committed guys as bachelors are untrustworthy and she was afraid they would always hit on her. Did not know if I should laugh or feel sad after the conversation.
- People get really surprised when they used to see me living in a nice apartment in a family colony and have a nice car. Apparently, bachelors in India should not be having such facilities at young age.
Well, these are some of the experiences I faced. However, I would say that being a bachelor still has its own perks such as freedom to travel, explore, less money issues and constantly being in limelight. Looking at some of the famous leaders in India, I guess the life is not too bad if you pass certain age and devote yourself to the path to greatness :)
- Tell them your financial state sucks and/or you lost your love. They will never ask for marriage again.
- Nobody will care for you even when you are married (wives will be mother). Wives get annoyed by 70s - 80s old age farts (mostly)
- Society accepts people who are beneficial to them, married/unmarried, doesn't matter. Some people judge even married families for their kids, relationship with their wives or something else. Society always will judge. Nobody is free of it. Too rich? they will judge you for not helping them, or showing off your wealth. Too poor? They will treat you like a useless freak. Then you turn successful and it won't take much time for them to convert their statements(useless dirt into 'I knew it'). Society is not your family, you don't owe anything to them. World is big enough for singles and life is short enough to regret. You need to dominant of who you really are and influence people around you. Maybe that's by having a six figures salary or maye owning a lot of wealth or maybe a good family or maybe mix of them or maybe all of them.
To sum it up: People want you to be successful in order to be useful for themselves. If they feel like you are not contributing anything significant, they will judge (or even isolate) you. Married, earning etc doesn't really matter to them.
Being single in India:
Just when you think that you have accomplished some of your dreams, and you wish to look forward to the next decade in life, a hell lot of uncertain questions are put to you.
"When you are going settling down?"
"Isn't it the right age to get married? Because you are 30?"
Relatives becomes the deadliest persons of your life. when you are of this age and unmarried! They always have their eyes on you better than a CCTV camera itself! They always keep asking your parents about you and why aren’t you getting married and that get’s your parents frustrated and angry with you for no reason. And that's the reason of your frustration and depression of not being married at 30.
Jovanna Girls a association which helps unmarried women's to live their life happily. Jovanna Girls gives Shout out to all the single girls in town. Join them and enjoy meals,holidays,treks etc with like minded single girls. Helps to redefine single hood and get your life sorted.
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